oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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