508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
