how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
