Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No subtext here. People are naked.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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