im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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