Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize