idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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