Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
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I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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