just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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