Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
