Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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