And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
