Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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