he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
