OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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