meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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