I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize