It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
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'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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