Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
