My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
