fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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