he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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