I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
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Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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