I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
