Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
