I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
