before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
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