I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
