help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.