when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
