thus making me awesome and them whores
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
