I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
