some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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