We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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