My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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