You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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