she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
