i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
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MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
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I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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