my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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