I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i believe in u and ur pee
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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