Betty ford says i'm here all night
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
