Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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