Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize