I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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