haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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