my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
