The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
