your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
