Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
