I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
