What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'm really busy with my period
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