I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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