Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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