she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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