Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ttyl tear gas
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
