I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
