No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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