so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
