we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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