The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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