I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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