Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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