hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
