Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
