last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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