Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
