Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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