If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
