I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
